klerka_lj | (no subject)

via

jahontova here

Taoism: Shit happens
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit
Conservative Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening
Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens
Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you
Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere
Cynicism: Of course shit happens
Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence
Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently
Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it
Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody
Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen
Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK
Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening
Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally
Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit
Classical Physics: Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around
Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you can't say both where and when
Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons
Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once
Engineering: When shit happens, paint over
Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning
Economics: Shit happens because there's a geat demand for it
Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it
Diplomacy: Let's pretend shit doesn't happen

Upd: from

letale
Krishnaism: Shit happens, shit happens, happens, happens, shit, shit